Join the ranks of Keillor, Quaid, Jagger and -- Janszen?

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="This isn't Jeff, but he has actually done this job. Say "Thank you," America."][/caption]

My co-worker Jeff Janszen is literally the only other recycled dad I know personally, so naturally I asked him for his family stats so I could add him to the Recycled Dad Index. He agreed because he is a cool guy and not afraid of anything (see photo caption above).

Now the index has four celebrities and two regular guys. I'll be adding more famous people shortly. But you, too, ordinary dad, can get on the index. You just have to be a father of at least two children -- although getting a high score is another matter.

Your recycledness score represents the biggest age gap (in years) between two consecutive children in your family. If you are a typical recycled dad, this is the gap between the youngest child of your first marriage and the first child of your second marriage. In theory, the wider that gap, the more opportunity there has been for you to get 'rusty' on how to raise a child from the beginning. (I admit that 'recycledness' is not really the best term for this attribute. 'Rustiness' is actually closer to the mark. Any other ideas?)

Your virility score is simply the age you were when your youngest child was born (you stud!).

Jeff is at the bottom of this short list in terms of recycledness, with a 'generation gap' between kids of 12.86 years. But at least he outranks me for virility: He was a respectable 44.87 years old when his twin son and daughter were born.

Let's have some fun with this, dads! If you want to get on the index, just leave a comment or e-mail me.

Recycled Dad Index (Prototype)

UPDATE: Still can't put script in WordPress.com, but if you click here or click the chart, it will open the interactive version of the chart in Google Spreadsheets.

Still experimenting with different visualization tools, but here is a glimpse of what I'm trying to do:

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="Click the image to go to the interactive version of this chart"][/caption]

For each celebrity dad on the list (and me), I've plugged in the dad's date of birth and the date of birth of each of his children. I use the data to calculate and display each dad's recycledness score (the widest gap, in years, between two of his children) and, just for fun, his virility score (the gap, in years, between his age and his youngest child's age). The recycledness bar is green, of course; the virility bar is the color of a pharmaceutical that may have a connection to some of these statistics.

If I could use javascript here, you'd be able to fly over the bars to see the actual values. FYI, Keillor's recycledness score is 28.60, and Morrison's virility score is 64.37.

My vision is to enable regular guys to enter similar data on themselves into a calculator in order to  see how they would rank on this index. (For these two scores, most of us can do the math in our heads -- and probably have -- but eventually I'd like to introduce more data and other kinds of scores.)

This prototype is in Google Spreadsheets, but I'm also getting familiar with Zoho Creator. Somehow I need to enable new entries via a web form. Ideas welcome and appreciated.

Nothing is what happened

As promised, the results of the Craigslist experiment:

Nothing.

Life goes on, happily!

Looking for locals

A year and a half ago, I started reaching out online to all recycled dads around the world via this blog. But that was a pretty illogical way to start, considering that almost no one knows what a recycled dad is, or even that the term exists. (I literally cannot think of any search string other than "recycled dad" or my name that would reliably bring this blog up on page 1 of a search result.)

So I'm trying what I should have tried in the first place: I'm putting an ad on Bay Area craigslist to see if any other recycled dads in in the area want to hang out. Yes, in person.

I'll post about what happens, even if it's nothing.

Who will learn more - you or Cameron?

It's been a long time since I posted. But I've come out of hibernation for a good reason: to publicize this opportunity for other "old new dads" to help a marketing student in the U.K. with his research by sharing their insights.

If you are a recycled dad, please download this questionnaire, complete it, and e-mail it to cameronblack19@googlemail.com . I found the questions very thought-provoking; you probably will, too.

Here is the message the researcher sent me via my blog:

My name is Cameron Black. I am a  first year student at Bournemouth University, England and am currently studying Advertising. As part of a consumer psychology unit, we are doing a project on a new market segment that is yet to be explored by a high street retailer i.e old new dads. The main aim of our project is to discover what new products might appeal to men who have become Dads later on in life and what would help them to bond better with their children.

If you have any suggestions or any information regarding a product that you think might be successful it would be much appreciated. I would also be interested to hear about your experience of becoming a older or recycled father and what the positives from that experience.

"Trophy wife" intro aside, Globe article is a good read

Add this to the Recycled Dad canon: a 2005 Boston Globe article that doesn't just state the obvious about older guys who have kids with their second wives.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="262" caption="(Boston Globe Photo / Lisa Poole) "][/caption]

For starters, this piece has a pretty thorough setup that observes the following:

• The number of "do-over dads" seems to be increasing, though concrete statistics are hard to capture.


• Men remarry sooner after divorce than women do; for this and other reasons, more divorced men than divorced women are in a position to have children.


• Recycled dads tend to be more confident and enjoy the parenting experience more.

I enjoyed this passage that quotes Marilyn Yalom, an author and Stanford University researcher:

This second chance at fatherhood, says Yalom, is changing these men. "It gives them the idea that they will do a better job the second time around," she says. This is because, for the most part, just like his mid-section, the second-timer's temper has softened as he's gotten older. His drive to build a successful career is no longer obsessively frantic; he may even be contemplating retirement. This dad is everything that kids love - devoted, patient, giving - and he isn't as focused on the issues that many younger parents face, such as the balancing act between career and family. He's not only old enough to be his kids' grandfather, he practically acts like one.

Some of us might chuckle at the grandfather thing. Others of us might not.

The rest of the story:

• One profile of a recycled dad to illustrate the above points, plus some of the downsides of this situation, with quotes from his adult kids (one of whom criticizes Dad for shortchanging the new generation).


• The new wife's perspective.


• Vasectomy reversals. (I could -- and probably will -- do a post dedicated to that topic.)


• A profile of another recycled dad, which mainly illustrates the physical limitations that some older dads have to deal with.

Check it out and feel free to comment on anything that stands out -- good or bad.

I lied a little

I recently posted statements to the effect that there is no other term in common usage that is the equivalent of "recycled dad."

This turns out to be inaccurate, or at least an exaggeration. I have since discovered a few synonymous phrases that get pretty good search results. The best -- that is, the one with the most relevant matches --  is "do-over dad." Has a nice ring, doesn't it?

Other strings that got some results: "start-over dad" and "second-time-around dad."

Future posts will reveal some of the content that these searches turned up. Meanwhile, feel free to do your own searches on these and similar phrases. I'll be curious to know which specific terms you used and what you found online.

Celebrity recycled dads, courtesy of FameCrawler

I don't really follow celebrity news. Until tonight I had been only vaguely aware that some famous old guys have young wives and are therefore likely recycled dads.

Thanks to a blog called FameCrawler and its "Boys Still Swim" category (beware of the flyover -- you may see Rod Stewart in a Speedo), I now know of a few confirmed celebrity RD's, including:

• Tim Allen


• Donald Trump


• Peter Gabriel


• Kevin Costner


• Mick Jagger (more serial than recycled -- kids born '70, '71, '84, '85, '92, '97, '99)

A friend recently hit me to the fact that Dennis Quaid is one of us.

And the guy I have always pictured as the stereotypical RD -- long before I was one myself -- is Garrison Keillor. There's a nice NYT profile of him here.

If you know of another famous RD, please name names in the comments. But I'm still more interested in knowing about you!

Help solve the identity crisis

If you have a moment for a little experiment,  do a Web search for "recycled dad." You should see a link to this blog somewhere on the first two pages of results. (As I write this, I have something in the #9 position in the Google results for this phrase.)

But as you've probably noticed, traffic here is a little light. Here's why: No one is searching for "recycled dad." Why would they? This special segment of the dad population is not commonly referred to by that term -- or by any succinct term, as far as I can tell. (If there were such a term in use, I'd have made that the name of the blog and everyone would be coming here.) So I have found it necessary to offer a term of my own.

A little perspective

"A term of my own" is sort of misleading because, as I said in an earlier post, I did not coin the phrase "recycled dad." But I think it's a great, memorable phrase that aptly describes us -- the audacious few who have dared to re-enter the parenting cycle at a point in life when our peers are prying the caps off cold pilsners to celebrate the fact that all their offspring are finally (or nearly) out of the nest.


Frankly, I'm surprised that this term has never gotten enough exposure to attain 'household' status. Hopefully we can remedy that.

To see things in perspective, realize that other kinds of nonstandard dads had to go through this same identity crisis. For example, there must have been a time when "stepfather" wasn't a word, when a guy in that situation had to refer to himself as "the husband of someone who already has kids."

It's just our turn, that's all. And the way out of this crisis is clear, simple and painless.

How to help (yourself or someone else)

If you fit the description of a recycled dad (even if you don't like that particular term), contact me so I know you're out there. If you're not already connected to other recycled dads, I'd like to help you. And if you are already connected to other recycled dads, I need you to help me!

Maybe you don't fit the description yourself but you know someone who does (your friend, your dad, your brother?). If so, let him know there is a name for what he is, and point him here.

If a guy doesn't know what to call the group he's in, he will have a very hard time finding others who are in it.

Be proud!

I mentioned in my first post that I started this blog out of a desire to connect with other recycled fathers. The fact is, I've never personally met any other recycled dads. (I trust that I won't be able to say that for much longer.)

Even without knowing any other recycled dads, I have a hunch that we are an exceptionally cool group of guys.


Generally speaking, we:

• Are more experienced than first-time dads.


• Have an above-average amount of time and money to spend on our families.


• Are happy in our relationships with our wives and kids.

Are you one of us? If so, are you proud of your recycled status? Am I out of line to suggest that we are awesome?

I'd love to get your comments. Thanks!

So *that's* what we are

Welcome to what I believe is the first blog dedicated to recycled fathers.

This blog was created because I couldn't find any Web sites focused on dads with multiple generations of kids. I had to search for a while just to find a handful of relevant threads in one forum on a site called (ironically) Brand New Dad.

I'm not saying there is no other site for recycled dads. I'm just saying I haven't been able to find it.

First-time dads, divorced dads, single dads, older dads, and stepdads are all extremely well represented on the Web. But try to find more than a few articles, let alone a whole site, for "guys who became dads a long time ago and have become dads again under new circumstances." You can't. Know why? Because that's the way you would have to say it -- the  long way. Not very conducive to web searching.

"Recycled dad" is a short way of saying it, and in my opinion it's a pretty good one. I'm not bragging, because I didn't invent the term*. I just read it in an article a long time ago, and it stuck with me.

Earlier this year -- three years into my own recycled dad journey -- I started looking for an online community of us and realized that, as far as I could tell, there was no such thing. So I decided to start one.

Having a name for what we are is a step in the right direction.

(Read more about this blog in -- that's right! -- "About This Blog.")

* The term "recycled dad" and its more proper form, "recycled father," were used by Kathryn Weil Simon in her 1982 master's thesis. She defined recycled fathers as "older men who became fathers for the first time between the ages of 20 and 24 and again became fathers between the ages of 45 and 60." Click here to view an article about Mrs. Simon's research.